I decided to get started early with Passover cleaning this year and start on my fridge. I figured if I did the freezer and all the drawers now, I’d only have to wipe it down right before the holiday. But just as soon as I had put everything from the fridge out on my kitchen table, Shalzed buzzed from the street. As he came up the stairs, I put the Haagen Daz ice cream back in the freezer so it wouldn’t melt.

“I just saw a news report that I can’t understand,” he began. “Pete Hegseth, your Secretary of Defense, said at a news conference, ‘We will keep pushing, keep advancing, no quarter, no mercy for our enemies.’

“He’s probably just trying to sound tough,” I said.

Shalzed blinked his eyes rapidly, which is what he did when he felt shocked. “But how?” he demanded. “How could he? Aren’t those words which must never be uttered?”

The truth is that I had no idea what ‘no quarter’ really meant. But wasn’t it normal in war not to have mercy for the enemy? I looked ‘no quarter’ up on my phone and was surprised by what I found. To declare ‘no quarter’ was to say that enemies would be killed even if they were already wounded or trying to surrender. “I doubt he really meant it,” I told Shalzed. I couldn’t imagine that the U.S. army would actually kill surrendering Iranian troops.

“But by just having said those words enemies are less likely to be willing to surrender.” Shalzed blinked his eyes some more. “Even the mere suggestion that prisoners may be killed or mistreated could have the effect of increasing fighting and lengthening the war.”

I looked at all my refrigerator stuff on the table. “Is there any Earth food here you haven’t yet tried?” I asked. I realized the thing he would probably most like was the ice cream. When he discovered vanilla soft-serve he ate three cones, so if I gave him strawberry cheesecake Haagen Daz he might finish the whole container. I needed it for my cousin’s birthday party, so I was glad I had put it back.

Shalzed glanced over the table, then looked back at me and blinked again. “How could he say that and remain in charge of the army?” Shalzed asked again. “Hasn’t he violated your laws just with what he said?”

My phone rang, and I saw it was a call from my brother Yoni in Israel. I swiped to answer. With the war going on I wanted to make sure Yoni was okay, and Shalzed seemed so upset that it was starting to make me uncomfortable. “Everything alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, we just got out of our shelter,” Yoni said. “A missile fell a kilometer from us, I wanted to call in case you were worried.”

I felt guilty that I hadn’t heard. “Good,” I told him. “Was anyone hurt?”

“They’re not sure yet. It fell on a street, but hopefully everyone in the houses nearby was in a safe room.”

I glanced at Shalzed. He had his hands on his hips and wasn’t even looking at the table. I put the phone on speaker. “Yoni, I have a friend over,” I said. I had mentioned Shalzed to Yoni in passing, but never said anything about where Shalzed was from. I hadn’t mentioned that to anyone, actually, since I figured there was no way they’d believe it. “Do you know what it means to give no quarter?”

“Don’t give loose change to someone asking for money,” he replied.

I wasn’t sure if he was trying to be funny. “No,” I told him. “Like in war.”

“Yeah, they taught us stuff like that at the end of basic training.” Yoni did a full three years of army duty after he made aliya. “It’s the kind of thing that even if your commander tells you to do it, you’re supposed to disobey.”

Shalzed leaned forward. “What if the order comes from the Secretary of Defense?”

I told Yoni about Hegseth’s statement. “He was probably just saying how unfair it is that we are expected to follow all the Geneva Convention even when fighting terrorists who don’t,” he said.

“So he was serious!” Shalzed exclaimed.

“But it doesn’t matter, because troops are trained to disobey that type of thing, right?” I asked Yoni.

“Yeah, that’s true. Also, soldiers listen to their commander, not what’s on the news,” he said. “The main thing is that the U.S. is helping us get rid of the Iranian threat.”

“Was Iran a threat?” Shalzed asked. He had already taken me to confront the United States UN ambassador Mike Waltz about whether the war was legal, so I hoped he wasn’t going to bring that up again.

“Of course it was,” Yoni replied. “Khomeini led chants of death to Israel and death to America. He even put up a clock counting down to Israel’s destruction.”

“But maybe he wasn’t serious. Maybe he was just trying to boast about the strength of Iran’s armed forces,” Shalzed said.

I laughed. “I think we have to assume he was serious. Otherwise, why was he stockpiling missiles and trying to build nuclear weapons?” I asked.

“Listen, if it was just a one time statement I’d agree with you,” Yoni chimed in. “But we have to understand it in context. Khomeini was Iran’s supreme leader. And he was close to having the means of carrying it out.”

“Then what about Hegseth?” Shalzed asked.

“What do you mean?” I replied, not sure what he meant.

Shalzed frowned. “Hegseth announced that the United States intends to kill Iranian troops even if they are wounded or attempting to surrender, which is completely against the law. He is in charge of the military, the U.S. is currently at war, and U.S. soldiers have the means to carry out his threat. Nevertheless, you’re still sure he was joking.”

That didn’t make any sense to me, but I didn’t know how to answer. “It’s completely different,” Yoni said.

“Why?” Shalzed asked.

“Because the United States would never actually do it,” Yoni replied.

“Maybe Iran wouldn’t actually launch nuclear missiles,” Shalzed said.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” I said quickly.

“Of course they would,” Yoni added. “Look at what they’ve done already.”

Shalzed paused. “So you decide what people mean not by what they say, but by what you already believe about them and their country?”

I shrugged. “Have you tasted kefir?” I asked, pointing to a container of mango Lighthouse kefir on the table. “If we don’t finish it now, it might spoil.”

“I have to go,” Yoni said. “Remember, by us it’s already night.”

I wished Yoni that he and his family should be safe, then turned to Shalzed. “You can’t expect Israel to take risks when Iran is threatening it with destruction,” I told him.

He took the cap off the kefir container and sniffed. “Maybe you’re right about Iran,” he said. “Maybe they would use nuclear weapons if they had them. But would you blame Iranian soldiers if they don’t risk surrendering now that Hegseth has threatened to kill them even if they do, and decide instead to keep fighting?”