It was my first time at the ‘Palais de Nations’ in Geneva- after I used the East River to flood UN headquarters in New York I figured I’d be persona non grata at their headquarters in Europe so there was no use paying a visit. But as you know it’s a different me now, and with the help of a new suit I purchased from Aelia Duty Free, security let me in without trouble.
I spotted Claudia Mahler chatting with two men who had Japanese flag pins on the lapels of their jackets. Japan was one of the countries most opposed to beginning to draft her new treaty, so their delegates probably wanted to have a word.
“What a big smile,” I said to Claudia, stopping a few feet away. She turned, probably assuming I was a more friendly Human Rights Council delegate, looking pleased by the opportunity to get away from the Japanese.
“It’s been over a decade in the works,” she replied. She turned back to the Japanese men and bowed slightly, clasping her hands together in front of her chest. They did the same, and then headed away.
“Yup, just what we need, to spend the next few decades carefully drafting a new treaty for us all to ignore,” I told her.
She wrinkled her forehead, like she was trying to size up who I was. Probably because no UN delegate would ever be blunt like that. Even the Americans, who oppose nearly everything having to do with human rights, just say this new treaty may represent an inappropriate allocation of resources. “Have I met you before?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Not in person. But both of our reputations precede us.”
“Shalzed?” she exclaimed, taking a step back.
“Did you think I never wear a suit?” I unbuttoned my jacket so she could see the superhero ‘S’ underneath.
“What do you want? Are you going to trap me in a web or something?”
I laughed. Did she think I used to be Spiderman? “Don’t you know I don’t do stuff like that anymore? I just want to know where this all ends. I mean, how about people suffering midlife crisis? Does every age group need its own treaty?”
She sighed. “Older adults face unique human rights challenges. For example, age discrimination in the workplace. Mandatory retirement ages are a clear violation of human rights. This all needs to be codified as just as illegal as discrimination based on religion, gender, or anything else.”
“I’m sure you’d have no problem travelling in an airplane with a 95 year old pilot,” I said.
“The point is that it’s a human rights violation to set a mandatory retirement age for everyone. Each person’s fitness needs to be individually evaluated.”
“Can’t age discrimination just be included in existing laws?” I asked.
“Older people frequently have trouble accessing health care, and someone needs to define what their rights are,” she continued, picking up steam.
“Fine, but anyone can need health care. Questions about access, coverage of expensive procedures, or experimental drugs can come up at any age.”
“And abuse,” Claudia continued, ignoring me. “Abuse of the elderly may look quite different than abuse of younger people. Not letting older people make their own decisions about living arrangements or healthcare. Financial abuse as family members take away control of bank accounts. Caretakers forcing them to take sedatives so they are easier to look after . . .”
“Okay,” I interrupted. “But do you really think a new international treaty is going to help?”
“Obviously a treaty isn’t going to change things overnight. But governments need clear guidance on what they are required to do.”
I noticed Francisca Albanese, the Special Rapporteur on the Rights of Palestinians, walking by. When she saw Claudia she came right up to her without even noticing me. “Would you like me to draft a press release condemning Israel because there is no way the elderly in Gaza can possibly evacuate the way Israel is expecting them to?” She asked. “I’m trying to arrange for every UN Special Rapporteur to condemn Israel at least once a month.”
“How about when Hamas, Hezbollah, or the Houtis fire rockets indiscriminately at Israeli cities?” I asked her. “People often have less than a minute to reach shelters, and the elderly or those with disabilities can’t possibly do that.”
She glared at me. “Are you Shalzed?” she asked.
“That’s right,” I told her. “Unlike you, sticking up for the rights of both Israelis and Palestinians.”
“I don’t know why you even bother speaking to him,” she told Claudia, pointing a finger at me. She stormed off down the hall, calling over her shoulder that she’s send Claudia an email.
“You have so many friends,” Claudia said to me.
Well, human rights is a lonely business. “Here’s another question,” I told her. “Isn’t a lot of this cultural? Like in some countries older people are more likely to be cared for in the home by their children, whereas other countries are more likely to use senior centers. And how people are cared for is unique to every situation and family. So why are you trying to make a universal treaty?”
Claudia sighed. “The Japanese delegate was just telling me that. A treaty doesn’t commit anyone to anything specific, it will just help clarify what the elderly’s rights are.”
You’ve got to love twenty years negotiating a treaty that doesn’t commit anyone to anything specific. That’s the way the United Nations keeps earning its well deserved reputation for getting things done. “Remind me, how many core human rights treaties do we have already?”
“Nine,” she said.
“Right. We already have treaties to end discrimination against women, against people with disabilities, racial discrimination, and more. How’s that going? And you really think making it ten is going to help?”
“I thought you promote human rights,” Claudia said.
“Of course I do,” I told her. And I’d have added that I think I accomplish more than most UN bodies or Special Rapporteurs if I wasn’t to humble to boast.
“Then why are you cynical? No one treaty can change the world, but the more we focus on fleshing out what human rights mean in different situations and to different groups of people the farther we’ve come. A new treaty will give activists a platform to campaign from.”
A woman wearing a press credential around her neck walked up to Claudia. “I’d love to interview you about the new treaty if you have a moment,” she said.
Claudia smiled. “It would be my pleasure,” she said. Then she turned to me. “Rights of the elderly doesn’t get as much coverage as what most of the other rapporteurs work on,” she said. “I take whatever press exposure I can get.”
“Is this your husband?” the reporter asked, gesturing to me. A look of horror came across Claudia’s face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume,” the woman said.
“He’s just someone who shouldn’t even have been allowed in this building,” Claudia said.
“I’m leaving now,” I told her
The reporter gave me a funny look, probably trying to decide if I was some sort of stalker. “It’s been nice to meet you,” she said. Then she turned her back to me as she pulled a voice recorder from her purse to use for her interview.
As I turned to go the reporter asked Claudia whether she thought it was fair to call the recent decision to begin work on the treaty momentous, and Claudia said absolutely. Then I passed by the security guards at the building’s grand entrance and headed out into Geneva’s chilly April air. I saw a man taking a selfie with his two little kids, both looking around middle school age, the sign for the UN Human Rights Council headquarters in the background.
“This is the building where they make sure the world is fair for everybody,” the man was telling his children “Here they do the most important work of all.”
I kept my mouth shut as I passed by. No sense telling the kids that even though what their dad said sounds great, it just ain’t so.
